The JC Whitney catalog was a treasure trove of unique auto accessories that included this … [+]
Back in the car-crazed youths of many Americans, perusing the annual JC Whitney auto parts catalog was essential to fueling their premium-grade vehicular fantasies. Dating back to 1934, those growing up in or near Chicago may remember its original iteration, Warshawsky & Co.
Aside from the usual array of tires, batteries and mufflers, the JC Whitney book offered a plethora of hood scoops, wheel covers, spoilers, fender flares, seat covers and virtually every body part for a vintage Jeep or Volkswagen Beetle that was merely a phone call or mail-order form away. But it was also known as an oddball emporium of automotive accessories that could turn any ordinary car into a custom cruiser.
This was back when a device called a steering-wheel spinner knob was a virtual necessity for one-handed driving, leaving the other arm free to either hold a lit cigarette or drape around a date’s shoulders. Those who grew tired of a simple “honk’ could replace a one-note car horn with a version that could serenade one’s fellow motorists with a few notes of “La Cucaracha” or “Dixie.” Our favorite growing up was the lecherous “Hollywood Wolf Whistle,” which we reckoned would be sure to grab the ladies’ attention at a stoplight once we were old enough to drive.
The company has since been acquired by CarParts.com, with the catalog now just a distant memory. However, the JC Whitney name continues in the form of a recently launched print and digital publication at JCWhitney.com that’s aimed at die-hard auto enthusiasts and do-it-yourselfers. There’s also an online store selling auto components and JC Whitney-branded merchandise, but we really miss the old catalog’s truly eccentric items that date back to a simpler age of motoring, including these oddball accessories:
Automotive Radio Phone. Talk about turning an ordinary sedan into the “car of the future,” this device predated the cell phone by at least two decades. Likely sold to make even factory workers feel like overpaid executives behind the wheel, it essentially turned a car, truck or boat into a low-power radio station that boasted a range of up to 10 miles for communicating with family and/or associates.
Dashboard Record Player. Chrysler tried selling an original-equipment version of this early audio accessory, which played 45-rpm “singles” via a dashboard-mounted turntable. The ad for the aftermarket version claimed it, “Performs smoothly over rough roads, rough curves, even during fast starting and stopping,” though it probably required a long stretch of freshly paved interstate highway to manage an entire three-minute song without skipping.
Deluxe Left Foot Accelerator. The idea here was that once the driver’s right foot would get tired over a long car trip, he or she could simply carry on using the added left-foot pedal. Or we suppose one could simply plant both of them to the floor for maximum thrust. Legal issues likely prevented this feature from ever becoming mainstream.
“Door-Re-Mi Door Chime.” This gadget basically turned one’s car into a giant music box, playing an enchanting melody whenever a door was opened. It was available in several versions, including the amorous “Let Me Call You Sweetheart” and “I Love You Truly,” as well as the priestly “Ave Maria.”
Foot-Operated Radio Switch. Here’s a whimsical automotive add-on that would eventually find its way into production cars, only today’s version is fingertip operated and is mounted on the steering wheel instead of the floor.
Fuzzy Car Muffs. A mercifully short-lived craze had people dressing up their rides by wrapping fuzzy white fur over mirrors, horn rings, visors and car club plaques. At that, hanging a pair of fuzzy dice from the rear view mirror is still a thing among some motorists, like wearing a Hawaiian shirt on the weekends.
Gyroscopic Stabilizers. This gizmo sounds like it came straight out of an original-series Star Trek episode (“Calibrate the gyroscopic stabilizers Mr. Scott…”). It dubiously claimed to increase tire life, automatically balance wheels, iron out bumps and improve handling, and was sold in sets of two because “dual gyros” likely sounded cooler during the 1960’s. Today gyros is something one would order at a Greek restaurant.
Hollywood Wolf Whistle. This gadget would sound the once popular – now slap-in-the-face sexist – wolf call, which Wikipedia defines as, “A distinctive two-note glissando whistled sound made to show high interest in or approval of something or someone (usually a woman).” Unlike electric horns, however, this uncool attention-grabber somehow worked off of an engine’s intake manifold.
Hollywood Muffler. An even stranger item that would seem to have no connection with the movie capital of the world, installing it would make an ordinary car sound like a motorboat for whatever reason that would be desired.
Horns, Horns, Horns. One could buy any number of different-sounding horns from the JC Whitney catalog, from one that “whinnies like a real Mustang” (which we assume would not be aimed at Chevy Camaro owners), an Electronic Donkey Horn that would “hee-haw” to get attention and the Ocean Liner Blast Horn, which would have been an ideal upgrade for the land yachts that ruled the roads in the 1960’s and 1970’s.
“Hot Rocket” Hood Ornament. One could update his or her ride for the Space Age via a hood ornament that would have made Flash Gordon proud, with internal lights and plastic fins that would whirl at speed.
In-Car Coffee Maker Kit. In the days before drive-thru windows, this was the only way to obtain a fresh steaming cup of Joe without leaving the vehicle. It secured to the dashboard, plugged into the cigarette lighter outlet and percolated up to five cups. Unfortunately neither the travel mug nor the cup holder had yet to be invented, and we can only imagine drivers and passengers suffering a lap full of hot coffee in the process.
Race/Sports-Car Recordings. Among its many diverse wares, JC Whitney sold records of famous races, back when sound effects recordings were popular among early stereophiles. They were best served by dragging the record player out into the backyard and blasting the volume, making the neighbors wonder what those “crazy kids” were doing racing their cars up and down the alley.
Whitewall Kit. Remember back when cars had whitewall tires? Neither do we, but those perusing the JC Whitney catalog could purchase a kit that would essentially allow them to paint whitewalls onto plain black tires, provided one had a steady enough hand.
“Winky” and Friends. Stuffed animals designed to sit on a car’s rear deck with eyes that would eerily illuminate in accordance with the brake lights and turn signals were a JC Whitney staple until the late 1980’s. Creepy as they were they were actually precursors to the center high-mounted brake lights that have been required on all autos for safety’s sake since 1986.
